Robin Thicke may “hate these
blurred lines” but I assure you, he does not hate them as much as I hate his
song “Blurred Lines”. I switch radio stations when it comes on. I would rather
listen to commercials than hear about how Thicke is going “liberate” me. I can’t
even enjoy the feminist parodies, because I. Cannot. Stand. This. Song. My friends
hate it as well. The feminists I follow on twitter have expressed their dislike of the summer hit, with Laci
Green calling it “rapey”. I’ve read more than one article, including this excellent piece by Elizabeth Plank, explaining why the song and video are sexist. I agree that the lyrics are
all kinds of problematic and the music video is incredibly objectifying of women.
When the artist himself admits the video is degrading to women, it’s not a hard case to make. But I
wouldn’t need to be a feminist to hate this song, and I’m not going to do a
feminist analysis of it as that’s already been done.
I’ve read the other side of the argument, that “rapey” is too strong a word. As Jennifer Lai of Slate notes, "nothing about 'I know you want it' is saying 'I know you want it, and I'm going to force you to have it". It’s a fair point. Perhaps the
issue is that the song (like most songs) lacks context. Maybe the girl is super
into Robin Thicke and really does want it. I have my doubts about that. He
sounds an awful lot like the creepy guy at the bar who keeps following you
around the dance floor. But we don’t really know for sure what the other side of
that situation looks like.
However, when I hear “I know you want it”, I place it in my
own context. I remember hearing “She’s fighting you but she wants it” and “She
wants it, she just doesn’t know she wants it”. And I know what the other side
of that situation looked like. It was me drunkenly mumbling “No, no, I don’t
want it” and trying to push my “friend” away from me while some random guy
watching kept assuring him that I did indeed “want it”. It was me trying to figure out why this person
who I had been platonically hanging out with all week suddenly wouldn’t stop
touching me. When I think about “blurred lines” I remember my “friend” laughing
and asking “Are you saying yes or no Devonne?” and “Don’t you like me Devonne?”.
I remember trying to figure out how I
ended up on this bed, and how I was going to get back to my hotel room because
it was so dark, and I was so dizzy, and I wasn’t sure I could walk back by
myself. And “you’re a good girl” reminds me of how I rambled on about how I
usually didn’t drink this much, how I usually was so responsible because some
part of me thought that if I convinced them that I was “a good girl” they would
start respecting me. I remember eventually running out of the room and somehow making
it back to my hotel room.
I later wage an internal war trying to make sense of that
evening. I think “well maybe I didn’t say ‘stop’ maybe I just thought I did.
Maybe I wasn’t being clear”. But then I think of the guy watching saying “she’s
fighting you” and “she just doesn’t know she wants it” and I am positive that
at no point in time did I look like I wanted any of it. I tell a few of my
close friends, but I throw it in with other stories, making sure to tell it in
the same casual tone of voice so they don’t think I’m making a big deal out of
nothing. I assure them that “I was fine and nothing happened”. But I wasn’t
really fine. I wasn’t sexually assaulted and my experience doesn’t compare to a
sexual assault survivor’s. But I was made to feel helpless and alone, and like my
“no” was absolutely meaningless and I don’t think that’s an okay thing to do to
someone.
That is the context of this song for me. That will forever
be the context of this song for me. This is a personal story but I am not the
only person who hates this song. I am not the only person whose skin crawls
every time they hear it. When my friends listen to it, they think of all the
guys at bars who try to grab them on the dance floor, who seem convinced that
if they harass them enough, my friends will want them. That is the context they place this song in. Robin Thicke
probably didn’t have that in mind when he wrote it because he’s most likely
never experienced those situations. He can make jokes about “what a pleasure it is to degrade a
woman” because he isn't a woman and he doesn't know what it's like to live in a society that constantly degrades you.
I won’t judge you if you want to dance when Pharrell says “Everybody
get up”. It’s a catchy song. Unfortunately for many of us, our lived
experiences make dancing to “Blurred Lines” impossible. 